33 Missteps for Corporate Innovation…

I came across a hilarious list of things corporates try when they want to "look" more innovative. Sadly, you know the list is true if you are in corporate innovation and that's what makes it so funny.

Might I suggest an alternative? Working with our corporate partners, we help them "Be" more innovative by setting a goal and building an innovation roadmap that solves their challenges by leveraging resources in the tech community. Then acting as a community facilitator, we tailor and facilitate knowledge-building workshops, tech scouting, patent creation, program management, and talent engagement opportunities to drive successful innovation outcomes to reach the goal. More here (www.TechConnectHub.com).

Enjoy the List:

1. Start an accelerator.

2. Buy hoodies for everyone in the accelerator!

3. Do a “find-and-replace” for the word “strategy” and replace it with “innovation thesis.”

4. Anytime anyone on your team uses the word prototype, correct them with “MVP.”

5. Have the CEO talk about failure without actually admitting failure.

6. Create a stage gate innovation process for the accelerator, but call it “metered funding.”

7. Rename the accelerator into an incubator.

8. Have the CEO talk about failing fast is "ok", when everyone in the organization knows failure equals banishment.

9. Hire a consultant. And while you’re at it, hire another one.

10. Hire a Vice President of Innovation to oversee the incubator, but under no circumstances hire a President of Innovation.

11. Drop the phrase “Innovation Ecosystem” into random sentences. E.g. “The coffee makes for a great innovation ecosystem.”

12. Fire the consultant. And while you’re at it, fire the other one too.

13. Rename the incubator an Idea Lab.

14. Underfund the Idea Lab. It increases creative pressure.

15. Refuse to continue funding products from the Idea Lab because they don’t align to strategy. When asked what the strategy is, create a distraction and run.

16. Now that the Idea Lab is up and running, create an Innovation Ecosystem consisting of two high potential employees and an intern.

17. Run a hackathon – no wait…make it an idea jam.

18. Change the floor plan in your office from cubicles to an open layout.

19. Assign all innovation team members to a minimum of 6 business-as-usual projects because “innovation is everyone’s job.”

20. Ensure that all workplaces are ergonomically optimized by using copies of the Lean Startup to adjust the height of everyone’s computer monitors.

21. Buy a lot of LEGOs.

22. Change the open floor layout by building cubicles out of lego and insist it increases productivity.

23. Make sure all the office walls are covered in important looking post it notes.

24. Organize a safari to Silicon Valley. Wear hats and bring sunscreen.

25. Create a canvas. Insist that it is better than the Business Model Canvas.

26. Hire a different consultant.

27. Talk about embracing a culture of failure, then fail at embracing a culture of failure. Repeat Step 27 if necessary.

28. Test all ideas in one week with a design sprint. Don’t allow any extensions. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day, but they probably could’ve done it in a week if they tried harder.

29. Implement a four year plan to get rid of four year business plans.

30. Go back to using the Business Model Canvas.

31. Train innovation catalysts, but give them no projects to work on.

32. Align the fiscal calendar with Eric Ries’ birthday.

33. And lastly, hire McKinsey. No one ever got fired for hiring McKinsey.

 

Credits to Tristan Kromer @ the Grasshopper Herder Lean Startup Blog for the list.